They say there are three types of friends in life; friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime. Growing up I always had friends. I wouldn’t have ever called myself popular but I always had friends, at least the type of friends one has when they’re young; friendships that are fickle. One day your ‘best friends forever’ and the next day you’re not. I’ve had many friends come and go over the years.
During my teenage years I had a close circle of girlfriends, we’d have sleepovers and pass notes to each other in class. Towards the end of high school I moved to a new town and changed schools and it left me in no mans land. I tried hard to stay close with my friends at my old school but always felt a bit out of the loop. I tried to make friends at my new school but never felt like I really fitted in.
Friendships in my twenties consisted of my then boyfriend (now husbands) friends and the people I worked with. Conversation basically revolved around what had happened on the night out before or work; even outside of work. But then we grew up. People broke up. Others finished their uni degrees and moved on to different work. To this day I remain in contact with a few of those original work friends, and one in particular has gone on to be one of my closest friends…we still bitch about work but our friendship these days is based on so much more than that.
Now I’m in my thirties (and a parent) and I feel like I’ve finally hit the golden years of friendship. It’s the years when you discover your best friends really are your husband, your mum and your sister. It’s the years where you figure out who you are, walk away from toxic friendships and have no time for people who only ever call when they want something. I’m surrounded by good people, good friends. There are those friends that I may not see that often but know if ever I need them, they’d be there in a second. We can go for months without seeing each other and it’s like time never passed.
Then there are those friends that I see more often, on a weekly or sometimes even daily basis. These friends have been my saving grace these past few months.
My bestie (who I’ve written about here before), she’s the one who waits for me in the car park everyday at kinder because for me, just knowing she is there if I have a panic attack is enough to make me not have one. She’s also the one I called the day I had a massive panic attack at the check out at the supermarket and I had to walk out leaving my trolley full of shopping behind. She was there within five minutes to pay for and collect my shopping. No judgement. Ever.
Then there’s the new friend I’ve made this year (who also happens to now be my boss) but who I feel like I’ve been friends with forever. She’s the one who’s reintroduced me to the art of the telephone conversation. When I first started working with her I would email her (having worked in local government for over a decade, that’s just the way we communicate) and then she would call me. I would text her and then she would call me. I pretty quickly figured out she liked talking on the phone, a rarity these days and so it was a weird for me to start with. But now? I love those daily (sometimes three or more times daily) phone conversations. We get each other, without need for explanation and that’s a really nice thing to have.
I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason and I know the people who are in my life are meant to be here, right now, for a reason (and hopefully a lifetime). I now know exactly what true friendship is and I’m lucky to have an abundance of it in my life.
Are you surrounded by true friends?